We all have our trysts with cold calls from telemarketing companies. I've had my fill of that bull**** too. So I was overjoyed when TRAI (http://www.trai.gov.in) mandated a national do-not-call registry. I always thought this scheme was flawed since it seemed to place the onus of taking action on the telemarketers upon the mobile service provider, since there is a slight conflict of interest involved. But my service provider (Bharti Airtel) did provide me an entry in the registry soon enough, and in fact treated my subsequent complaints about violators with respect, and surprisingly, concern. I even had one follow-up call from them enquiring if the telemarketers were still bothering me.

Well, that they certainly have been doing, notably Deutsche bank, which called me 5 times, each from a different number, in the last 2 weeks. The first 4 calls went like this:
Telemarketer: Sir, Deutsche bank is offering you a lifetime free credit card blah blah blah...
Me: I have registered in the Do-Not-Call-Registry. Please tell your supervisor that I do not want you to call my number, and that I shall be recording a complaint against you with TRAI(I just used that for effect, not that it had any).

I would then note down the calling number and the time, and when I felt like it, would wade through Airtel's automated call center (where they have made it really difficult to reach an operator), and record the complaint with them.

So 2 days back I received this 5th call, and I already had a new strategy ready:

DB: Sir, would you like to go for a personal loan? There would be no paperwork, fast processing, blah blah blah...(a sub-prime crisis is blooming here, don't you think?)
Me: Yes. I want a loan for Rs. 3 lakhs(that's Rs.300,000)
DB: May I ask a few details? What's your name?
Me: Sriram Nar.....
DB: What is your monthly salary?
Me: Rs.60000
DB: You are then eligible for a loan upto Rs.5 lakhs.
Me: 3 lakhs is sufficient for me.
DB: Where do you work?
Me: Jatti motors (Patently false)
DB: What's your designation?
Me: Sales Manager (I was beginning to enjoy myself now).
DB: You need to get 2 passport-size photographs, salary slip blah blah. When can you get them, by next Saturday?
Me: I can get them tomorrow.

Then DB fixes up an appointment with me to send their "executive" to collect the documents.

Next morning I receive a call from another unknown number. I guess rightly that this was the number of the Deutsche bank harassment executive. So,
DB: Sir, are you Sriram Nar....
Me: No. Who are you?
DB: I'm from Deutsche bank, is your number xxxxxxxxx?
Me: Yes, but you got the wrong guy.
DB: Don't you work at Jatti motors?
Me: Don't know what you're talking about. Stop bothering me.

I was pretty happy by now, and happier when I got multiple calls from DB later that day, none of which I answered. At the end of the day, I deigned to answer the phone, and the appointment-maker remonstrated with me for agreeing to take the loan and then pretending to not be Sriram Nar...

Me: Have you heard of the Do-Not-Call-Registry?
DB: No
Me: (I was stunned here, but managed to continue). My number is in that registry, do you are supposed to desist from calling me. Got it?
DB: Sorry sir...

I did finally have my fun at their expense, and I'm already planning for a more elaborate round-trip for the next "executive" that wants to stuff a personal loan or a credit card down my throat. And I'm totally not sorry for it.

Any telemarketers reading this post, this is not personal, so please don't get offended. Get a better job. Good luck.

You may need "Anjal" fonts to view this post.

ரொம்ப நாள் கழிச்சு இன்னொரு போஸ்ட்.

இந்த முறை என்னோட favourite topic - நம்மோட language diversity. ஸ்டார் விஜய் TV-யில் "நீயா? நானா?" நிகழ்ச்சி: "தமிழர்கள் Vs. பிற மொழியினர்கள்" என்ற தலைப்பு.

இந்தியாவோட ஒவ்வொரு ஊர்லயும் எவ்வளவு வேற்றுமை இருக்குங்கறது கொஞ்சம் மலைப்பான விஷயம்தான். தமிழ்நாட்டிலேயே கண்டிப்பா பத்துல அஞ்சு பேரோட parallel தாய் மொழி தெலுங்கு, கன்னடம், மலையாளம், சௌராஷ்டிரம் இந்த மாதிரி எதாவது ஒண்ணாத்தான் இருக்கும்(என் குறுகிய அநுபவத்தில்). ஆனால் இவர்களுக்குத் தாங்கள் தமிழரென்றுதான் அடையாளம் காட்டிக்கொள்ளத் தோன்றும்.

The reciprocity exists in other states too. This only shows the futility of defining our identities through language, religion etc.

இதில் ஸ்வாரஸ்யமான, ஆனால் அதேசமயம் சிந்திக்க வேண்டிய விஷயம், தமிழர்கள் அவர்களைப் ப்ற்றி என்ன நினைக்கிறார்களென்று மற்ற மொழியினரிடம் கேட்ட போதுதான். மலையாளத்துக்காரர் சொன்னார், "எங்களை முதுகில் குத்துபவர்கள் என்று கூறுவதுதான் ரொம்ப hurting-ஆக இருக்கிறது" என்று.

Not going into the merits of that accusation, I too would be hurt if "my kind" were stereotyped with that kind of damaging character.

The Suzuki Swift is a good car for Indian roads. Having purchased it in July '06, I was eager to take a long drive in it. But my fear of Indian highways(being deathtraps between dawn and dusk), and beloved Raji's admonitions kept me from the expedition. But as they say, the ocean cannot be dammed. Meaning, I set off on a trip to Chennai, with Raji and Amma in tow, during the Christmas weekend of Dec '06. As a salve to our fears, all driving was planned in daylight's benign presence. And what fun it was! A 362 k.m. drive was accomplished in about 4 hours, not including rest stops. There were hardly any other vehicles on the road, both during onward and return journeys. Only local people from the numerous small(and sometimes nameless) towns that dot the way. In some cases, those locals had the unfortunate compulsion to use the wrong side of the road, which I admit did throw us off gear more than once. Especially Raji, who did take to driving a 30 km stretch(and sent the needle scurrying past the 100 kmph mark, I must say). And the speed fiend who drove the remaining part crossed 140 kmph on a number of occasions.

The great road trip has finally arrived in India, my friends! Only, I feel that night driving is still for the brave-of-heart, since I was able to sample some of it on the return journey, where the Hosur-Bangalore leg gave some close scares.

There's a very nice video floating around that shows how traffic "self-regulation" happens on Indian roads. Just search for "traffic india video" on youtube or google.

And yes, the Swift, powered by a(perhaps 3-valve) 1300 c.c Petrol engine, gave us approx 17 kmpl of efficiency. Pretty good, aint it? That's about 37.6 miles/gallon, folks!

Populism has hit the airwaves in TamilNadu: Karunanidhi(a leading politician in the south Indian state of Tamil Nadu) is promising a TV to every family that doesn't have one if he's elected to power! That's supposedly 5.7 million TV sets that are going to be given away by the government. I'll not even mention the other poll promises he's made, like rice at Rs.2/kg. Of course, to be fair, I haven't read Jayalalitha's(the incumbent Chief Minister of the state) promises yet, and they're likely to be at least half as bad.

To rehash information known to all Tamilians, the Karunanidhi family/party(which are indistinguishable presently) owns the most popular TV channel in Tamil Nadu, Sun TV. So this move of his might seem a clever, if crude, attempt to be populist as well as ensure that he can brainwash illiterate and poor people thru his TV in the future as well.

But I think that might be "mis-underestimating"(a Bush-ism to the uninitiated) the ability of people, however low they might be on the socio-economic ladder. Since many of them are illiterate, they would hardly get to read newspapers. So TV would be an ideal way for them to learn more about the world - a world which has currently left them behind with little to hope for, and this might increase aspiration levels amongst them! This will boomerang upon Karunanidhi himself(if he sticks around another 5 years) in the future, where he will really have to face an electorate much more in the know than ever before.

Again, media makes opinions and brainwashes people, even in(or especially in) the US, like we saw before the present occupation of Iraq, but that has been gone into in some depth by better commentators than I.

There's a drive on to enroll people for the "Bangalore Graduate Constituency". This would apparently qualify to elect a representative to the legislative assembly(or at least, that's the goal). Sounds good! But a little exclusivist, don't you think? Well, I'm just an opinionated guy sitting on the sidelines, so let me place on record that I hope the organisers of this drive acheive their objectives. For an "educated voters constituency drive", the request for enrolment was surprisingly short of details on how they planned to acheive their aim(whether it was permissible under the constitution etc.).

I at least have an idea for improvement of driving conditions. In India, the convention on the road is that if you flash your headlights, you're warning the oncoming traffic that you're planning to steamroll ahead. This could lead to a dangerous misunderstanding: both could flash simultaneously and could forge ahead until they are too close for comfort. This also breeds agressiveness in drivers. I say lets invert this convention: from now on, anyone flashes their lights, they're telling oncoming traffic "You come on, I'll give way!". This way, people also cultivate the habit of providing "space" to others voluntarily, and also they can feel good aboud themselves for having done something of a good samaritan act.

Hello again. So I've been dormant, and surprise, nobody probably noticed. But I'm somebody who hankers after approval and attention from others, so I was gratified to learn that I've gotten visitors from Egypt, among other countries. Yes, you are being watched by Big B. Just kidding.

I got married in the ensuing hiatus, and its a nice change, believe me. The wedding was the fun part, and it was good to have lots of loved ones around you for the big occasion.

We went honeymooning to God's own country(that's Kerala, a state in Southern India) and were awed by the lush greens in Thekkady and Munnar, and the houseboat experience at Alappuzha was wonderful, though we did have a little tiff with the mosquitos there. Kerala is a very hospitable place, though its really too full of coconut oil for my liking.

And while I was off, I find that the stock exchange's index continued its northward movement without me riding its coattails, and as usual I'm caught between fear and greed on whether to jump in now, when prices are already heated up to the sky.

Leads me to think, what is this pursuit of money for? Why do we lead our lives absorbed in petty things, which are shown up to be so only when confronted by the really important things. Beats me. I mean, I think I know all the answers, but it doesn't help, and I continue to be petty(or at least doing the petty act).

I shall continue some other day before I dump my entire philosophy on this blog.
Cheerio!

I'm always full of opinions, and I say to myself that I can express them pretty well to others, but its pretty surprising how I find very little to write about in my blog. Is it because my life is pretty dull and uninteresting? Perhaps. Or maybe this will change if I jot down my thoughts as they occur so that I can post them later.

Anyway, since my last update, I've rediscovered the pleasures of using private transport(selfish me, so hang me for it ;-P), and travel by car on my H-O-H route. It saves me a lot of time, and allows me to spend some time working out at the nearby gym.

I also have other longings: to be able to play the violin really well, and to make a difference in the life of a few less-fortunate people. I think I should be able to do both, but just don't know when.

I discovered "stumbleupon" recently, and really love it. To me, it brings home the beauty of the internet in a way I've not experienced before. Instead of wondering what to search for, and only chancing upon some good sites, this is a neat way of navigating your way thru the riff-raff on the net. But again, there's just too many more sites than I can do justice to ever...