We all have our trysts with cold calls from telemarketing companies. I've had my fill of that bull**** too. So I was overjoyed when TRAI (http://www.trai.gov.in) mandated a national do-not-call registry. I always thought this scheme was flawed since it seemed to place the onus of taking action on the telemarketers upon the mobile service provider, since there is a slight conflict of interest involved. But my service provider (Bharti Airtel) did provide me an entry in the registry soon enough, and in fact treated my subsequent complaints about violators with respect, and surprisingly, concern. I even had one follow-up call from them enquiring if the telemarketers were still bothering me.

Well, that they certainly have been doing, notably Deutsche bank, which called me 5 times, each from a different number, in the last 2 weeks. The first 4 calls went like this:
Telemarketer: Sir, Deutsche bank is offering you a lifetime free credit card blah blah blah...
Me: I have registered in the Do-Not-Call-Registry. Please tell your supervisor that I do not want you to call my number, and that I shall be recording a complaint against you with TRAI(I just used that for effect, not that it had any).

I would then note down the calling number and the time, and when I felt like it, would wade through Airtel's automated call center (where they have made it really difficult to reach an operator), and record the complaint with them.

So 2 days back I received this 5th call, and I already had a new strategy ready:

DB: Sir, would you like to go for a personal loan? There would be no paperwork, fast processing, blah blah blah...(a sub-prime crisis is blooming here, don't you think?)
Me: Yes. I want a loan for Rs. 3 lakhs(that's Rs.300,000)
DB: May I ask a few details? What's your name?
Me: Sriram Nar.....
DB: What is your monthly salary?
Me: Rs.60000
DB: You are then eligible for a loan upto Rs.5 lakhs.
Me: 3 lakhs is sufficient for me.
DB: Where do you work?
Me: Jatti motors (Patently false)
DB: What's your designation?
Me: Sales Manager (I was beginning to enjoy myself now).
DB: You need to get 2 passport-size photographs, salary slip blah blah. When can you get them, by next Saturday?
Me: I can get them tomorrow.

Then DB fixes up an appointment with me to send their "executive" to collect the documents.

Next morning I receive a call from another unknown number. I guess rightly that this was the number of the Deutsche bank harassment executive. So,
DB: Sir, are you Sriram Nar....
Me: No. Who are you?
DB: I'm from Deutsche bank, is your number xxxxxxxxx?
Me: Yes, but you got the wrong guy.
DB: Don't you work at Jatti motors?
Me: Don't know what you're talking about. Stop bothering me.

I was pretty happy by now, and happier when I got multiple calls from DB later that day, none of which I answered. At the end of the day, I deigned to answer the phone, and the appointment-maker remonstrated with me for agreeing to take the loan and then pretending to not be Sriram Nar...

Me: Have you heard of the Do-Not-Call-Registry?
DB: No
Me: (I was stunned here, but managed to continue). My number is in that registry, do you are supposed to desist from calling me. Got it?
DB: Sorry sir...

I did finally have my fun at their expense, and I'm already planning for a more elaborate round-trip for the next "executive" that wants to stuff a personal loan or a credit card down my throat. And I'm totally not sorry for it.

Any telemarketers reading this post, this is not personal, so please don't get offended. Get a better job. Good luck.